And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
