just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
