I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Of course I have a pirate flag
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
