I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Enjoy the penises
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
