No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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