Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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