I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
