oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
