he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
