So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
