I can tuck mytits in my pants
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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