i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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