What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
