I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
