dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There r osticjed everywhere
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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