Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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