So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
