Well apparently he's into motor boating.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
