Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
