Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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