i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize