Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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