thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize