so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
