At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
