He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
