i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
