man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I got inside last night via doggy door
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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