She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You took a bar mat shot.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My vagina is very pro this idea
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
