if you like me you must not know who I am
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
