Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
