This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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