You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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