I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
