you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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