That's intense
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
