Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
