Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
