so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
