I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize