i permit you to call me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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