Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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