No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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