he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
