4 words: hood of his car
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
