You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
