I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
