I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
