my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Two words: nipple clamps
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