i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
