You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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