His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
