I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
