The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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