We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize