too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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