He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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