yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
