so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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