No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We had to coat check the pizza.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
