Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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