I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
