i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
