she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
