4 words: hood of his car
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
