he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
