whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You smell like stripper and shame
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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