Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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