My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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